Life is Goodbye, Life is Hello by Alla Bozarth / Paula (Adam's Momma) Bruckner (Adam & Chrissy Angels Together in Heaven ) Scars
Grieving is an art
like surgery or verse,
essentially the art of healing
loss or losses unaccounted for,
Losses cut the soul
in twos and threes
a wide green gash
like the wound of
a tree cut down
So much more time
so slowly heals
the severed pieces
of the self shock-shattered
by guilt and rage
and the simple loneliness
of something missing
the hug. the casual telephone talk,
the good occasional fight lost forever
to the harsh, nonphysical world of death.
Grief lived faithfully heals itself
in time not fully.
Where once an open wound burned unbearably
now a thin transparent scar.
Still I know that till
the hour of my own death
the scar glows
and now and then bad weather
will come and waken the same old ache.
A scar is now and then throb
that dies only with one's own death.
According to this author: Life is goodbye. Life is change. Life means
having and holding-then letting go and giving up-even what we love the
Life is also Hello. We can survive loss. We can move beyond endurance
to accept new and different joys into our lives.
The heartache / Adam's Mama Paula (Adam & Chrissy Angels Together in Heaven ) Dear Chrissy,
I read the posts that your Mom and Dad leave on your website and my Adam's with tears streaming down my face. I feel that I know the love and hurt inside of your Mom & Dad, the guilt, the pain, the wanting, the longing, the emptiness, the need to erase time and have a do over.
If only we as parents could hold the wisdom we have now and get the opportunity to reparent you-how glorious it would be. You & Adam would not suffer your torments and feel good about yourselves and still be here with us.
I never liked the word no, I always thought that there was a yes around the corner. I never liked the concept that nothing could be done. Something could always be done, problems could always be fixed, after all we as parents were armed with the power of love. How that wasn't enough I don't know. In the meantime your parents and Craig & I suffer with our guilt and broken hearts. Please, you and Adam send us healing signs and watch over Kaiti. Craig & I are terrified that she will join you. Carol Ann's daughter Angel Tina's story is scarily sounding a lot like Kaitlin's. Please watch over her and infuse her with wisdom to make good choices for herself.
Love to you and Adam.
Love to your family.
XO Paula XO
TO MY BABY GIRL / DAD
I'M SITING HERE AT THE COMPUTER WITH A MILLION TEARS RUNNING DOWN MY FACE, AN HOLE IN MY STOMACH AND A HEART THATS BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR AND WONDER WHY THIS HAD TO BE,WHAT DID I DO SO WRONG ? WHO DID I HURT SO BADLY ? WHY WERE YOU TAKEN FROM ME ? WHY ? I STILL GET NO ANSWERS ONLY SADNESS AND EMPTINESS.
DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND I TOLD YOU HOW LUCKY YOU WERE TO HAVE YOUR BIRTHDAY ON NEW YEARS EVE BECAUSE THE WHOLE WORLD WAS HAVING A BIG PARTY FOR YOU ON THIS VERY SPECIAL DAY, AND NOW WHILE THE WORLD IS HAPPY AND LOOKING FOWARD TO A GREAT NEW YEAR I STARE AT YOUR PICTURES AND FEEL ONLY PAIN OH HOW I MISS YOU CHRISSY I FEEL LIKE I LET YOU DOWN OR I DIDN'T DO ENOUGH TO HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR PAIN PLEASE FORGIVE ME FOR ALL MY SHORTCOMINGS I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH. I WANT TO SAY SO MUCH BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW. JUST LET ME WISH YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY WITH ALL THE LOVE THATS IN MY HEART FOR YOU. I PRAY THAT WE WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN SO THAT I CAN HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS A NEVER AGAIN LET YOU GO.
DEAR LORD WATCH OVER OUR BABY
We Remember Them / Karen/Kassie Mom (Connected By Angels ) In the rising of the sun and its going down, We remember them
In the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter, We remember them
In the opening of the buds and in the rebrith of spring, We remember them
In the blueness of the sky and in the warmth of summer, We remember them
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember them
In the beginning of the year and when it ends, We remember when
When we are weary and in need of strength, We remember them
When we are lost and sick at heart, We remember them
When we have joy we yearn to share, We remember them
So long as we live, they too shall live, For they are now a part of us, As we remember them
"It's the end of another year and so many thoughts go swirling through our minds. For many, it has been a difficult year - job loss, loss of friends, loss of a home, loss of health, and possibly one of the most lasting losses of all - the loss of a child. For some there will be no celebration at the end of the year - only a lot of tears for those dreams that were stolen away so unexpectedly. How does a person move on? How can a person move into the New Year with joy when so much sorrow surrounds the heart? It's not easy, but it helps to remind yourself often that you are never, ever alone in your pain. There are times when we feel alone, but the truth is that we are surrounded by hope and it is there for us whenever we call out for help. Look at nature in any season and be reminded of the One who is in charge. Look at the majesty of the starry sky at night and know that you are counted among the stars. Listen to the sounds of the wind rustling through the trees and hear the whisper of God letting you know He is by your side. Look for the rainbow painting the sky and be assured that you have not been forgotten. Remind yourself often that hope is stronger than your pain!" -C. Hinton
"For every tear you cry, there is a seed of hope being watered."
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me." --Psalm 61:a
--------------- Clara Hinton
THINKING OF YOU ALL FOR THE NEW YEAR~MAY YOU FIND PEACE, COMFORT, AND STRENGTH ~♥~
A Birthday In Heaven ~ I heard you crying yesterday And felt your heart-sent love So I’m sending you this message Now, from Heaven up above. You’re wondering if I’ll celebrate My birthday (way up here) I know you’re missing me today I feel your essence near. God planned a special day for me He told me with a wink He’d ordered me a special cake (It’s Angel food, I think) I’m getting lots of hugs from God He’s really good at that And every time that I walk by He gives my head a pat Balloons will fill the streets for me They float up through the clouds And we have lots of clowns up here That make us laugh out loud There is a birthday carousel Jeweled horses ride the wind With music playing oh so sweet… The magic never ends I’ve made so many friends, you see We laugh and play and sing We ride our bikes and play jump rope And sleep in Angel’s wings We’ll have our cake and ice cream And open gifts, surprise! But we don’t blow out our candles here Instead they light up the skies
Happy Birthday to "Chrissy" and "Mom" / Cindy~B.J., Wayne And Bucks Mama
Sharing birthday's only a day apart yet so close in the heart...
Sending gentle hugs to both of you, Cindy
Happy NEW YEARS IN HEAVEN CHRISSY// WENDY & SARAH / Wendy HIGGINS Angel Kevin Conatty Fiance And SARAH KEVIN'S STEP DAUGHTER (ANGEL FRIEND )
HAPPY NEW YEARS IN HEAVEN CHRISSY WE LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER FORGET YOU LOVE WENDY AND SARAH KEVIN CONATTY FIANCE AND STEP DAUGHTER
Merry Christmas Chrissy and to your family / Rhonda Rhodes Craig Sehon's Mom (Heaven's Angels )
Chrissy, I created this Christmas Card from a photo I took of my Christmas tree. I wanted to give you something this year that none other could give in regards to a graphic. So from my home to your Memorial Site, I send you and your family Christmas wishes. Send your love to your Dad, who is always faithful to sign my son's site, to your mom and family.
Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kindgom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
Send your love and peace of Heaven to your family this year Chrissy!
My sweet baby, Merry Christmas in Heaven!! / Mom
Merry Christmas Chrissy! I see your face in everything, and pray that you have a beautiful Christmas in heaven.This Christmas we have the added blessing of Baby Luke, and now we have him to bring us a glimpse of happiness. The emptiness of every day and every holiday without you will never go away, the longing to hear you and see you will never cease, but the world continues to go on, and we have no choice but to be a part of it, whether we want to or not. Please help us, guide us and give us strength. I wait till I can finally be with you, but until that day, PLEASE Chrissy, help me go on! Please give Papu, Mama, Papa, and Grandpa a hug for us. Always and Forever, Mom
The Rossi Family / Dana Abdelhadi
Merry Christmas / Dana Abdelhadi
MERRY CHRISTMAS CHRISSY & FAMILY WITH LOVE / LaRaine Mom To Angel Cynthia Hernandez (friend)
WISHING YOU A WONDERFUL & BLESSED CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN PRECIOUS CHRISSY. YOU WILL FOREVER BE LOVED & MISSED AND WILL CONTINUE TO LIVE ON THROUGH THOSE THAT LOVE YOU. MAY YOUR DAY IN HEAVEN WITH OUR ANGELS BE A SPECIAL DAY WITH OUR LORD UP ABOVE. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR PRECIOUS FAMILY. LOVE LaRAINE MOM TO MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER CYNTHIA
Thinking of you this Christmas / Dana Abdelhadi
Happy Christmas from heaven.... / IRENE MOMMY TO ANGEL KAYLA XAVIER 4EVER (DEC.23,2008)
Merry Christmas / The Outlaw Family
Holiday bill of Rights for Grieving Parents / Paula (Adam's Momma) ***************I HAVE THE RIGHT****************
I have the right to go from estatic to tears in 30 seconds.
I have the right to be excited about going holiday shopping, only to get there & need to leave because of a panic attack.
I have the right to not be joyful every single moment or day of the holiday season.
I have the right to not send out Christmas cards, AGAIN.
I have the right to NOT listen to Christmas music when I can't bear it.
I have the right to be quiet, continue to grieve my child & be alone when I need to.
I have the right to choose not to participate in gift exchanges and holiday celebrations at my place of work, worship, or anywhere else.
I have the right to look for & feel joy & love in the holidays & my life, just please don't try & force it on me. I'll find it on my own.
I have the right to want to buy my child a Christmas present and take it to the "Angel Park"
(cemetery, site, or other place)
I have the right to buy the present and decide that I can't bear to take it to the "Angel Park"
I have the right to get to my family's house late and leave early.
I have the right to walk outside and get away for a bit of fresh air when it gets to be too overwhelming.
I have the right to include my child in any activity that I want without getting the "funny looks".
I have the right to be angry.
I have the right to be alone with my child and not have to explain why I want to be alone.
I have the right to laugh at unexpected times and hug a pillow and talk to myself when I am remembering.
I have the right to long to have my child back, to have the life I once had.
I have the right to find a way to honor and remember my child during the holidays by whatever ritual I feel comfortable with.
I JUST HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE ME...THE ONE WHO NOW EXISTS.
The Emptiness of Christmas / Mom
My dearest Chrissy,
I started to bake today, remembering the laughter and craziness around me as you and your brother and sisters were busy laughing, fighting and just "being children". I miss hearing the laughter and feeling the joy that comes with it. I miss looking forward to Christmas morning and watching all of you open your presents. I miss not being a family of 6, I miss listening to you joke, I miss our world, our life, I MISS YOU !! I love you so my sweet beautiful baby Chrissy. I pray you found your happiness and I pray that I will see you again. Always & Forever Mom